Twilight Nursery Rhymes
by raichy
Summary: basically just some ramblings involving our favourite characters and some well known children's Rhymes
1. Emmet's Picnic

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or settings taken from the Twilight series. They are all the property of the talented S Meyer. I make no money from this stupid piece of writing (if you can call it that.)

**This is just a silly little moment I dreamed up when I was sleep deprived and bored-enjoy.**

**Emmet's Picnic**

"C'mon, c'mon Ed! I wanna go now!" it was barely whisper but it sounded like a scream to my overly sensitive hearing. Emmett's impatience to go hunting always made me chuckle.

"Alright, alright. Save your aggravation for the grizzlies.' I whispered back as I practically flew down the stairs and straight past him so fast his hair ruffled in the breeze I created. He laughed and followed instantly.

I always loved the travel before the hunt better than the travel back because even though I was hungrier on the way there I felt lighter somehow. Especially when hunting with Emmett. It was always so much more fun than hunting with Japer or Rosalie. We'd joke and play-fight the whole way. It must be the equivalent of what human males felt like when they went to see a game together or something.

Within half an hour we were on the outskirts of some huge forest, in god knows where. Our sense of direction meant that we didn't really need to pay any attention to the state lines or number of miles we'd crossed. We'd be able to find our way home no matter what.

I inhaled deeply. Ahhhh there were a wide variety of animals within range but I sniffed out the scents of the biggest and easiest to enrage. I needed a challenge today. Emmet seemed to be in the same mood as I sneaked a peek into his head.

It wasn't unusual for Em to have mental build up to the fight in his head but I was shocked at his current internal dialogue.

_If you go down to the woods today, you're sure of a big surprise._

_If you go down to the woods today, you better run off and hide._

_For every bear that ever there was, will run away in fear because today's the day that Emmet's has a picnic. _

I laughed out loud at his juvenile song.

And he growled at me, knowing what I'd heard.

I just followed the trail of a pretty ticked off deer I could sense running to my left whilst he stood looking mortified. This wasn't the end of it. I knew that. Emmet didn't like being teased, especially by someone smaller than him, even if I was faster. Despite that he continued with his own version of the nursery rhyme.

_Picnic time for Em-met _

_Coz Emmet is planning on having a lovely time today_

_Watch him stomp and storm about_

_He loves to fight and shout _

_He never takes any care_

_At six o' clock there'll be no reason to panic coz he'll be all full up on grizzly bears._

"Don't give up the day job eh Em" I laughed, he looked at me a sour expression in his eyes. I had only the split second warning from his head to prepare me before he charged at me. I moved out of the way easily enough and laughed freely. He wheeled about a smile on his lips. He truly did love a fight... almost as much as he loved a picnic.

**Hope you enjoyed that. I may do a follow up based on other characters and other nursery rhymes/well known songs but I'm not sure yet. It's been a while since I wrote anything and I can't be sure when the inspiration will hit again. Please let me know what u think even if you think its stupider than a bratty teenage werewolf. **


	2. Alice's Car

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or settings taken from the Twilight series. They are all the property of the talented S Meyer. I make no money from this.

**So I got inspired and wrote a second little moment. It's only a few hundred words. This one is about Alice when she first got her car from Edward in Eclipse.**

Twinkle, Twinkle Alice's Car

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" I gush at Edward as h walks through the door.

"Easy Alice there's something I want in return." he told me in a serious tone.

"I know, I know. I promise I'll take good care of her. And Bella too." I said dancing to the garage.

"What was all that about?" I heard Jasper ask amused.

"I gave in and got her the Porché early. In return for babysitting Bella whilst I'm away hunting." Edward told him.

"Are you sure Alice is enough. I mean, the amount of trouble Bella gets into, she needs a whole army to protect her." Emmet joked from the couch where he was half-watching a game on the telly.

I scoffed. I'd do a great job of keeping Bella safe, and happy, when Edward was away. Emmett was really too hard on poor Bella. It's not her fault she was a magnet for danger. I tuned the guy's voices out as I saw my beautiful, new, bumblebee yellow car. It truly was a work of art. I couldn't wait to get it out on the road. It would have to be at night time cruise though. A car like this was too 'conspicuous' to drive around Forks in daylight.

I grabbed the glass cleaner from one of the many tool boxes of Rose's and a clean duster. Then I climbed up on the bonnet of the prettiest thing on four wheels and started wiping the windshield- i wanted it to gleam like a mirror. I started singing in my happiness.

"_Twinkle, twinkle special car, can't believe how great you are._

_Never thought id get so high, without flying in the sky._

_Twinkle, twinkle awesome car, how I love just what you are."_

**Let me know what you think guys.**


	3. when Jasper got stuck up the Chimney

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or settings taken from the Twilight series. They are all the property of the talented S Meyer. I make no money from this.

**Here's a little Christmas themed chapter for you.**

When Jasper got stuck up the Chimney

It was Christmas time and in a small town called Forks in Washington everyone was celebrating in the traditional way, eating extravagant meals, opening expensive presents, arguing about who was going to do the washing up and watching cheesy TV specials. Everyone that is, except for the Cullen Family. They had their own way of celebrating Christmas.

Snowballs were flying around the Cullen's house so fast they could barely be seen by the naked human eye in the most aggressive snowball fight of the century. The fight consisted of Emmett, Edward, Alice and Jasper. Rosalie refused to be involved in such childish antics.

Jasper was usually the winner of such fights, especially when he had Alice on his team. But this time the others intended to teach him a lesson and when Jasper was sufficiently distracted by Edward the fight took an unexpected turn. Emmett got a tight hold on jasper's arms and leaped on top of the porch with him and another almost invisible jump onto the roof. The rest of the Cullen's stood watching in amazement. It wasn't often that Jasper was out manoeuvred by anyone, let alone Emmet, who for all his strength, was never subtle in his attacks. Emmet unceremoniously dropped Jasper down the chimney and the whole family laughed in delight as the blonde haired sibling fell from sight a look of disbelief on his pale face.

The Cullen's went inside, the fight clearly over, expecting to see jasper sat in the never-used fireplace of the living room. Nothing and no-one was to be seen.

"Jasper?!" Alice called loudly.

"Alice!" a muffled response came from inside the Chimney breast.

Most of the Cullen's laughed giddily as they realised that Jasper was still inside the Chimney.

"Come down man!" Edward said getting over his giggles first.

"Why didn't I think of that?" Jasper's slightly muted voice asked sarcastically. "Oh yeah that's right- I'm STUCK!" he yelled the last part slightly hysterical, never having been in a similar situation before.

"You're kidding" said Emmett, chuckling, clearly proud of him self.

"When do I ever joke about things like this?" the voice from the Chimney asked.

Emmet smiled broadly and began to sing

"_When Jasper got stuck up the Chimney he began to shout _

'_I'll tear off your arms and legs if you don't pull me out._

_My hairs gone black, there's soot on my back, _

_My nose is tickling too.'_

_When Jasper got stuck up the chimney, 'achoo! achoo! ACHOO!'"_

Jaspers barely audible reply was furious. "When I get out of here I'll mess you up Emmett!" he promised.

"Good luck with that!" was Emmet's reply and he walked away whistling the tune of his favourite Christmas rhyme.

**So what do you think? I want to know. I'm really having fun with this can't wait to see what else I can come up with. Ideas of rhymes to use would be appreciated.**


	4. Miss Rosalie Muffet

Chapter 4- Little Miss Muffet

Jacob stalked in the undergrowth of the forest watching the two blondes on their hunt. One he hated with a passion and the other was his reason for being so near the first. Renesme and Rosalie the two 'R's of the Cullen family were stalking through the trees looking for the prey they could smell was near.

Suddenly Nessie launched herself forward at an incredible speed pouncing on the back of a large deer and sinking her teeth into its neck. Rosalie watched her eat with an affectionate smile before continuing to search for her own meal. Jacob continued to watch the two. He wondered if either of them knew he was there. Renesmee probably didn't. If she did she would've run over to him already, asking him to hunt with her. And he wouldn't have refused. He couldn't refuse her anything. But it was nice to watch her like this, even if it was from a distance. No distractions he could just observe. Blondie didn't seem aware of his presence either. Her nose would be wrinkled and a disgusted look would grace her features if she had any idea.

He watched the tall blonde as she gracefully swept her body upwards and grabbed a large eagle, he hadn't previously seen, perched on a branch, and snapped its neck effortlessly as her feet touched back to the ground. She sat down on the ground unnecessarily and began feasting on the large bird. As he watched her, a rhyme he and Nessie had been singing a few days previously sprang to his mind. He ran over it in his head changing some of the words as he saw appropriate.

_Rosalie Muffet was sat on a tuffet_

_Eating a bird of prey_

_Then along came a werewolf, who smelled like a werewolf_

_And chased Rosalie Muffet away._

As he mentally finished the nursery rhyme Jacob phased into his human self and dressed before emerging from his hiding place still laughing to himself.

"Jacob!" Renesmee squealed in delight as she heard him approaching and quickly abandoned her dinner in favour of her favourite wolf-man.

Jacob chuckled to himself as she practically threw herself into his arms.

"You're a mess, kiddo." He said affectionately, holding the toddler against his hip he took a handkerchief from the pocket of his trousers and wiped the blood from around her mouth before smoothing her hair and pecking her forehead lightly with his lips.

Rosalie watched the whole exchange with a look of distaste. Her nose wrinkling and distorting her perfect face as Jacob had predicted. He laughed lightly again as he remembered his newly adapted rhyme.

"What's so funny Jakey?" Renesmee asked, curiosity lighting up her face.

"Nothing kiddo" he replied, still smiling as he looked back at the tall blonde "Nothing at all."

**xxx**

**Okay it's not much but I wanted to put something up.**

**I have almost finished Jacob the red nosed werewolf. I'm just playing with the last few lines so thank you to werepirechick753 for the suggestion. Also thank you to HiddenKoala who also reviewed. More comments and suggestions for future chapters are appreciated. **


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